Consent, this word is often ignored by people. But there’s nothing sexier than enthusiastic consent. Whether you’re just getting to know someone or have been together for years, communicating openly about what feels good and what doesn’t in the bedroom is the key to a healthy sex life. While consent seems like an obvious concept, it’s not always practiced. Many people, especially women, feel pressured into sexual acts they’re not fully comfortable with due to expectations from partners or society. But consent isn’t just about avoiding non-consensual sex – it’s about creating an environment where both partners feel empowered to explore their desires freely and safely.
So, all the ladies and gentlemen out there, today’s topic is all about consent. Consent leads to better sex for all. So say yes or say no – your comfort and pleasure should be top priorities in the bedroom.
Communication Is Key to Great Sex
Communication during sex leads to better sex for all parties involved. Talking about what you like and what you don’t like and checking in on your partner helps ensure everyone feels comfortable and satisfied.
Speak Up About What Feels Good
When something feels good, say so! Don’t be afraid to tell your partner about that. Direct feedback about what’s working will encourage your partner to keep doing that activity. Positive reinforcement can also inspire them to try new techniques to elicit more pleasure from you.
Speak Up About What Doesn’t Feel Good
Similarly, always tell your partner if something hurts or just doesn’t feel pleasurable. It’s best to give constructive feedback in a polite, caring way. Your comfort should be the top priority during any sexual encounter. If you want to stop completely at any time, say so clearly and directly.
Open communication may feel awkward at first, but it builds intimacy and leads to better sex.
Tips for Giving and Asking for Consent During Sex
Giving and asking for consent during any sexual encounter is extremely important for everyone involved. Here are some tips to keep in mind:
Be direct but polite.
Speak clearly about what you do and don’t feel comfortable with. Saying something like “I’m enjoying this, but I’m not ready to go any further” or “Let’s slow down” are polite but direct ways to express your limits. Ask your partner directly what they are and aren’t comfortable with as well. Consent is ongoing, so continue checking in with them during intimacy.
Pay attention to body language.
Look for enthusiastic participation from your partner. Are they reciprocating touches? Making eye contact? Smiling and laughing? These are good signs they are engaged and consenting. Lack of participation, avoiding eye contact, or tense body language may signal discomfort, so check in with them verbally as well.
Don’t make assumptions.
Don’t assume that just because someone consented to one sexual act, they consent to anything else. For example, consenting to kissing does not automatically mean consent for anything beyond that. Get consent for each new activity. Don’t assume that consent at one point in time means permanent consent —people can withdraw consent at any time for any reason.
Respect the answer.
Whether the answer is “yes,” “no,” or “not yet,” respect your partner’s response. A “no” to one activity does not necessarily mean no to all activities. Be willing to accept the answer given without pressuring or coercing your partner. Forcing yourself upon someone without consent is unethical and illegal.
Come to an agreement.
Once you’ve shared your thoughts, find where your interests and limits align. Focus on the areas where you’re both comfortable to start. You can always revisit the conversation to explore other activities when you’re both ready.
Practicing open communication and gaining enthusiastic consent from your partner before and during any sexual encounter will lead to a much more pleasurable experience for all.
Embrace the Freedom of Prioritizing Your Pleasure and Comfort
When it comes to intimacy, embracing consent and comfort is empowering. Prioritizing what feels good for you leads to better experiences for all parties involved.
Don’t feel pressured into anything.
You never owe your partner any sexual act. Don’t do anything you’re uncomfortable with just to please another person or “keep the mood going.” Your comfort should be the top priority, so don’t hesitate to say “no” or “stop” at any time. A caring partner will respect your boundaries.
Focus on your own pleasure.
Make your pleasure a priority during intimacy. Touch yourself during sex and show your partner what you like. Try different positions, speeds, and motions to discover what specifically feels good for you. Don’t rely solely on your partner to stimulate you in the ways you want. Take an active role in maximizing your enjoyment.
Aftercare is important, too.
Discuss how you’re feeling after being intimate. Cuddle, compliment each other and get water or snacks. Make sure any discomfort from certain activities is addressed. Talk about what you enjoyed and want to explore more next time. Aftercare helps build closeness and ensures all parties feel satisfied and cared for following sex.
Prioritizing consent, comfort, pleasure, and open communication leads to better experiences for you and your partner.
Conclusion
At the end of the day, consent isn’t rocket science. It’s about open communication, mutual respect, and making sure everyone involved feels safe, comfortable, and cared for. Speaking up about what you do and don’t want in intimate moments can be awkward at first, but it gets easier with practice. And a partner worth your time will appreciate knowing how best to make you feel good. So say yes when you mean yes, say no when you mean no, ask for what you need, and listen when your partner expresses their needs. Consent is the foundation for amazing, ethical sex. And amazing, ethical sex is always the hottest sex.